It the

This is where my hard journey began. In 2014, I was working as a marketing position, wife, mother, lover of running & a great group of friends. Everyone & everything fit into my routine beautifully. 

On a hot July afternoon, I was feeling dizzy & fell in the kitchen. I tried to stand up but I couldn't. I tried to speak but the words were jumbled. My 3 girls were home but they were too young to call help. My husband, Zach, found me 5 hours later that night after work on our bedroom floor. I was rushed to the ER & the neurologist had shocking news. I had a major stroke (I was 27 yrs. old), & admitted to the ICU where my brain continued to swell. Zach was given 2 options for my treatment. Option 1 was to have a craniotomy that would relieve pressure in my brain, but leave me in a vegetative state or option 2, let my brain swell & I’ll die. During that time, Zach told me that I was prayed over by members of my family, friends, co-workers & prayer groups from various churches. The day before Zach had to decide, the swelling in my brain stopped. Soon after, the swelling decreased & I awoke from the coma. Miraculously, I lived. I was in the ICU for 10 days, the hospital for 2 weeks & moved to the medical rehab for physical therapy. I had to learn to speak, eat, walk, shower - everything. I was in physical therapy for 2 months & released home. 

After the therapy, I still suffer from aphasia which impacts my ability to communicate with words, thoughts & reading. Even today, I’ve limited use of my right-side affecting my movements & balance. This took away my ability to work in my prior job & ripped my favorite hobby, running, out of my life.  

Seizures & Isolation

2 years after the stroke, I started having seizures. Multiple hospital stays followed by another month stay at the medical rehab, the seizures stopped permanently through medications. Around this time, the realization set in that I hit the ceiling for my physical recovery. My drinking began to increase too. I always liked the flavors & relaxation with alcohol, but now, I was drinking to numb my pain & depression. The finances were scarce & the hospital was drowning us with bills. We lost our home in Spokane, WA & moved to Cheney, WA in ‘18. I was isolated, both physically & emotionally, & I wallowed in self-pity for years. 

The summer of ‘22, I didn’t care about my outward appearance, my marriage was falling apart, the girls didn’t have a mother, I couldn’t work & I was a functioning alcoholic. I was drinking beer in the morning & switched to hard alcohol by the afternoon. By 6 p.m., I would be passed out in bed every night. My doctor told me that my liver showed damage from the alcohol consumption. I knew that I would die if I didn’t stop drinking, but I didn’t care.